I was thinking -
Go to the bathroom - yes, right now. Fuck yourself with your fingers, but don't come. Then get back here and tell me all about how much you're looking forward to tonight.
And for variety on the skipping of underwear - wear this specific set of underwear to work today.

They can't all be completely evil - that strains the bounds of probability more than one of them secretly being a werewolf. Character depth ain't just for the good guys, ya know :P

I hope so. All good sidekicks should be gay. *g*