Torchwood Ficlet - Fine Print, and the advisability of reading it.

[order_of_chaos]

Title: Fine Print, and the advisability of reading it.
Author: order_of_chaos
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Comedy
Summary: The team (sans Jack) sell their souls to Ianto by accident.  Coffee Club team-fic, with minor mentions of Gwen/Tosh.   Post Endgame, so spoilers for that.

Fine Print, and the advisability of reading it.

They join King Ianto’s Coffee Club, toss plans for world domination idly back and forth between them, and enjoy the damn fine coffee.  It’s a welcome distraction from Jack being gone, and if they fail to read the fine print before signing, it’s excusable under the circumstances.  Three days have passed before they realise they’ve sold him their souls – then only because Ianto asks Owen to “kindly shut up for a minute,” and Owen does.
He’s only half demon, Ianto assures them, in his ever-so-slightly-creepy tone of mild amusement.  It’s impossible to tell if he’s joking or not. 
He passes them each another cup of coffee, and promises not to send them to hell, unless it’s Owen, and then only if he’s very irritating.
Later, he skims through their plans for world domination, picks two, and smiles.  They agree that it is fairly demonic, in a sweet, understated kind of way.  “Work on these,” he says.  “We’ll be needing them later.”
He circles the table quietly, removing used cups and clutter and leaving tidiness, also demonic, in his wake.
Gwen and Tosh take the SUV out for a few hours, save the world from a particularly unimaginative alien threat, and have sex in the back seat before returning.  Owen takes the time to catch up on his paperwork, checking each piece for fine print, just in case.
The four meet for dinner – pizza, this time, from a different delivery person – finalise their plans for world domination in order to set them in motion the next morning, and get very drunk on something unidentifiable and non-coffee-related.  Ianto’s new minions decide that, for a demonic owner of souls, he’s not half bad. 
They haven’t thought about Jack all day.
 

 

Comments

[miss-zedem.livejournal.com]

*giggles* Living in a world dominated by Torchwood wouldn't be such a bad thing - at least there'd be a lot of sex....

[cloudrocker.livejournal.com]

love the evil-but-hawt-side-of-ianto!

[reina-isabella.livejournal.com]

leaving tidiness, also demonic, in his wake.

You are killing me. I am now dead. I have expired from the genius.

[crabby-lioness.livejournal.com]

Very funny!

[burntcopper.livejournal.com]

:eyes you suspiciously: I am of the opinion that Heaven probably involves instant. or :shudder: decaf. I sold my soul to Caffe Nero and Coffee Republic long ago. Starbucks and Ianto can't have it.

[lonelybrit]

He circles the table quietly, removing used cups and clutter and leaving tidiness, also demonic, in his wake.

Bwhahaha! Oh yes, nothing entirely human can make that good coffee and be that efficient all the time :) Great stuff, and yes, there have been minions with worse deals!

[szm.livejournal.com]

Great idea, love slightly evil Ianto! *hee hee*

"and leaving tidiness, also demonic" See! This is way I'm never tidy, tidy is EVIL!!!!

[http://users.livejournal.com/_medley_/]

Bwahaha! Wonderful.

[misslucyjane]

I love the sweet-yet-understated plan for world domination. You win :D.

[jwaneeta.livejournal.com]

Bwah! Excellent.

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

Lovely! My favourite line: "leaving tidiness, also demonic, in his wake."

[darthhellokitty.livejournal.com]

fairly demonic, in a sweet, understated kind of way

MUCH superior to those silly over-the-top CGI demons - far cuter. This is hilarious. :-)

[zabbers.livejournal.com]

ahahahahahaha

[crystalshard.livejournal.com]

*grin* Live in a world dominated by King Ianto's Coffee Club? Sure, why not?

Love the story, it's quietly hilarious.

[last-sane-human.livejournal.com]

id sell my soul to him in seconds. the whole place would be tidy.. AND itd be dominated by ianto. love it, i died laughing but was ressurected. XD
"leaving tidiness, also demonic, in his wake."- woop, im thetidiest in my house!!

[protoplasmica.livejournal.com]

oh this has to be continued. I can't wait for Jack's reaction!

[kel-reiley.livejournal.com]

bwahaha i love that

[kayliemalinza.livejournal.com]

Have just watched all of Season One in one sleepless go. Some parts good, some parts very very bad, but mostly worth it so I can read your ficlets.

Demon!Ianto. Yes. This is now my canon.

He’s only half demon, Ianto assures them, in his ever-so-slightly-creepy tone of mild amusement. It’s impossible to tell if he’s joking or not.
He passes them each another cup of coffee, and promises not to send them to hell, unless it’s Owen, and then only if he’s very irritating.

This is scary-accurate. I can see him doing exactly that in exactly that way.