order_of_chaos: (Stars of Chaos)
[personal profile] order_of_chaos
Title: Fine Print, and the advisability of reading it.
Author: [personal profile] order_of_chaos
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Comedy
Summary: The team (sans Jack) sell their souls to Ianto by accident.  Coffee Club team-fic, with minor mentions of Gwen/Tosh.   Post Endgame, so spoilers for that.


Fine Print, and the advisability of reading it.

They join King Ianto’s Coffee Club, toss plans for world domination idly back and forth between them, and enjoy the damn fine coffee.  It’s a welcome distraction from Jack being gone, and if they fail to read the fine print before signing, it’s excusable under the circumstances.  Three days have passed before they realise they’ve sold him their souls – then only because Ianto asks Owen to “kindly shut up for a minute,” and Owen does.
He’s only half demon, Ianto assures them, in his ever-so-slightly-creepy tone of mild amusement.  It’s impossible to tell if he’s joking or not. 
He passes them each another cup of coffee, and promises not to send them to hell, unless it’s Owen, and then only if he’s very irritating.
Later, he skims through their plans for world domination, picks two, and smiles.  They agree that it is fairly demonic, in a sweet, understated kind of way.  “Work on these,” he says.  “We’ll be needing them later.”
He circles the table quietly, removing used cups and clutter and leaving tidiness, also demonic, in his wake.
Gwen and Tosh take the SUV out for a few hours, save the world from a particularly unimaginative alien threat, and have sex in the back seat before returning.  Owen takes the time to catch up on his paperwork, checking each piece for fine print, just in case.
The four meet for dinner – pizza, this time, from a different delivery person – finalise their plans for world domination in order to set them in motion the next morning, and get very drunk on something unidentifiable and non-coffee-related.  Ianto’s new minions decide that, for a demonic owner of souls, he’s not half bad. 
They haven’t thought about Jack all day.
 
 

Date: 2007-02-21 10:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] miss-zedem.livejournal.com
*giggles* Living in a world dominated by Torchwood wouldn't be such a bad thing - at least there'd be a lot of sex....

Date: 2007-02-21 11:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cloudrocker.livejournal.com
love the evil-but-hawt-side-of-ianto!

Date: 2007-02-21 11:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] reina-isabella.livejournal.com
leaving tidiness, also demonic, in his wake.

You are killing me. I am now dead. I have expired from the genius.

Date: 2007-02-22 12:02 am (UTC)

Date: 2007-02-22 12:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] burntcopper.livejournal.com
:eyes you suspiciously: I am of the opinion that Heaven probably involves instant. or :shudder: decaf. I sold my soul to Caffe Nero and Coffee Republic long ago. Starbucks and Ianto can't have it.

Date: 2007-02-22 12:43 am (UTC)
lonelybrit: Apples & book (Default)
From: [personal profile] lonelybrit
He circles the table quietly, removing used cups and clutter and leaving tidiness, also demonic, in his wake.

Bwhahaha! Oh yes, nothing entirely human can make that good coffee and be that efficient all the time :) Great stuff, and yes, there have been minions with worse deals!

Date: 2007-02-22 12:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] szm.livejournal.com
Great idea, love slightly evil Ianto! *hee hee*

"and leaving tidiness, also demonic" See! This is way I'm never tidy, tidy is EVIL!!!!

Date: 2007-02-22 01:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/_medley_/
Bwahaha! Wonderful.

Date: 2007-02-22 02:36 am (UTC)
misslucyjane: poetry by hafiz (Default)
From: [personal profile] misslucyjane
I love the sweet-yet-understated plan for world domination. You win :D.

Date: 2007-02-22 04:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jwaneeta.livejournal.com
Bwah! Excellent.

Date: 2007-02-22 04:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fajrdrako.livejournal.com
Lovely! My favourite line: "leaving tidiness, also demonic, in his wake."

Date: 2007-02-22 12:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fajrdrako.livejournal.com
Since Rhys is clearly a good housekeeper (as well as cook and oven-cleaner), it makes a person wonder. He could become Ianto's chief minion and they could conquer the world together.

Date: 2007-02-22 05:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] darthhellokitty.livejournal.com
fairly demonic, in a sweet, understated kind of way

MUCH superior to those silly over-the-top CGI demons - far cuter. This is hilarious. :-)

Date: 2007-02-22 08:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zabbers.livejournal.com
ahahahahahaha

Date: 2007-02-22 05:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] crystalshard.livejournal.com
*grin* Live in a world dominated by King Ianto's Coffee Club? Sure, why not?

Love the story, it's quietly hilarious.

Date: 2007-02-22 06:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] last-sane-human.livejournal.com
id sell my soul to him in seconds. the whole place would be tidy.. AND itd be dominated by ianto. love it, i died laughing but was ressurected. XD
"leaving tidiness, also demonic, in his wake."- woop, im thetidiest in my house!!

Date: 2007-02-22 09:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] protoplasmica.livejournal.com
oh this has to be continued. I can't wait for Jack's reaction!

Date: 2007-12-14 06:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kel-reiley.livejournal.com
bwahaha i love that

Date: 2008-05-17 07:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kayliemalinza.livejournal.com
Have just watched all of Season One in one sleepless go. Some parts good, some parts very very bad, but mostly worth it so I can read your ficlets.

Demon!Ianto. Yes. This is now my canon.

He’s only half demon, Ianto assures them, in his ever-so-slightly-creepy tone of mild amusement. It’s impossible to tell if he’s joking or not.
He passes them each another cup of coffee, and promises not to send them to hell, unless it’s Owen, and then only if he’s very irritating.


This is scary-accurate. I can see him doing exactly that in exactly that way.

Date: 2008-05-25 04:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kayliemalinza.livejournal.com
omg yaaaaaaaaaaaaay you replied! Baby, your lurker ways have got me all torn up inside. I can't take much more of it, but I gotta have your love. Mmhmm, I gotta have your loooooooove..... ::is listening to Sam&Dave::

I just finished Season 2 last night, btw, and it was AWESOME. I'm sure I could nitpick it on a second viewing, but it didn't infuriate the way Season 1 did at points. And, and, Ianto? And Jack? Eeeeeee! I love how Ianto is kinda hesitant and cagey about the growing relationship, and Jack's totally confident. One of my favorite scenes is in "Adam" -- do you know what I'm talking about?

P.S. Was it you who wrote Jack/Ianto, where Ianto is freaked out b/c the pterodactyl is watching?

P.P.S. This is the second fandom (albeit a related one) that I've gotten into b/c of your subtle, long-term influence. ^_^

Date: 2008-05-25 09:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kayliemalinza.livejournal.com
*blinks* I did? Are you sure?
Yes, I'm sure! See? It's right there. ::points:: ^_^

Love and adoration, etc. reciprocated a thousandfold, approximately.


Tennis. Do you wear a cute tennis skirt while you play? I am pervy enough that would excuse you. >P


Horribly bad, absolutely not. Crackish and insane, well, yes. Sorry. I know it hurts.

It is the Master/Owen fic, which I didn't remember because I didn't know who anyone was yet. I think the pterodactyl would be much more attached to Jack and Ianto, however, seeing as they were the ones who caught it. They engaged in UST not six feet away! While it was unconscious! That bit of UST was horribly cheesy btw but I loved it. I have a theory that Ianto's awkwardness is finely honed enough to make any UST work.

P.S. does the hand-in-a-jar belong to the Doctor? I'm ok with DW spoilers, I just want to know before I read Handporn I-III.

Date: 2008-05-25 06:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kayliemalinza.livejournal.com
OMG TORCHWOOD LOLCATS. Why does that make so much sense?


Date: 2008-05-25 06:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kayliemalinza.livejournal.com
But-- But--- Nu Who is too shiny. And there's romance. And fanwank. And no serials, just episodes! And the Cybermen are wrong.

I will compromise, though. I will watch Nu Who in turn- after I've watched a bit of 6,7, and 8. After all, that's how I watched the others. Fair enough?

Date: 2008-05-25 07:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kayliemalinza.livejournal.com
I see you went with the mocking icon. ::frostily::

The shiny is not so bad-- I like that Torchwood is shiny, certainly--but the Cybermen. You acknowledge that the Tomb of the/Moonbase Cybermen are the best, yes? I demand that you go watch Tomb of the Cybermen ([livejournal.com profile] eponymous_rose has links) and tell me that those Cybermen are not awesome. I bet you can't. Because they are awesome. I will allow that the Tenth Planet era Cybermen are also creepy as hell, but otherwise it doesn't get better than Tomb of the Cybermen. It doesn't. I WILL DESTROY ALL WHO OPPOSE ME.



THOU SHALT WATCH CLASSIC WHO.
If you rilly rilly want me to watch Nu Who soon, maybe we could do trades?


Date: 2008-05-25 10:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kayliemalinza.livejournal.com
But wait. If you destroy me, then I can't watch Classic Who.
Then I have no choice but to BRAINWASH YOU!!!


Hrm, now I have the difficult choice of telling you what to watch (almost) first. Tomb of the Cybermen is widely acknowledged to be a first-rate serial, and it has my favorite Cybermen, so that's probably a good choice. Anything with Two and Jamie will make your not so inner slasher happy, as well.

OH. Bi teh wai, Jamie was the apple of a Cyberman's eye long before Ianto and Lisa came along. Go here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/doctorwho/classic/clips/second.shtml and watch the clip titled "The Phantom Piper." The Cyberman has been ordered to take humans back to their base, but he can't bear to hurt the young man lying flushed and sweaty on the sick-bay sheets, wearing only a thin hospital gown; helpless, unconscious, shiny.

I've got two episodes of the Moonbase on DVD (the rest were burninated) and some eps from other Two/Jamie serials; I'll try to get them uploaded for you in the next few days, since scattered episodes will be less time consuming than full serials (Three in particular has serials that are eight episodes long!). Here's a rough guide for exploring on your own, though: Two and Jamie is awesome, Jo and Delgado!Master with Three are awesome, Sarah Jane is beyond awesome. So is the Brigadier. Four has some really good stuff, but his run was so long that there's plenty of duds (also, I haven't seen any Romana I yet.) Five is nice, too, but mostly just the early serials; once Adric leaves (and some before that), the series gets a bit-- idk. Those were the JNT years and plenty of things went wrong. I haven't seen any Six or Seven yet, but Muppet (who got me into Classic Who) vastly prefers Two and Three's eras, despite trying very hard to like them all. Thus far, I agree with her. Eight, of course, is lovely in himself (OMG WHOOOOOO PAUL MCGANN!!) but the movie was horribly Americanized and a bit crap.

The BBC Episode Guide (http://www.bbc.co.uk/doctorwho/classic/episodeguide/index.shtml) is a good place to check out for some info on individual serials, though I've disagreed with some of the reviews.

Ok, here's a much more specific list: my favorites!
Two
The Mind Robber (delightfully meta!)
Tomb of the Cybermen
The Invasion (really long, partly reconstructed. also generally acknowledged as one of the best serials, period)
-- All of these I can upload for you if they're otherwise unavailable, so let me know.

Three
Terror of the Autons (KILLER INFLATABLE CHAIR. Jo's introduction, and also the Master's iirc.)
The Three Doctors
(Two and Three together OMG!!)
The Time Warrior (Sarah Jane's first serial, so I'm biased.)

Four
Robot (Four's first serial, and rilly rilly kyoot)
Genesis of the Daleks (OMG DAVROS. Very good serial all around.)
Masque of Mandragora (fun and cute)
Hand of Fear (SARAH JANE WEARS OVERALLS. AND GETS POSSESSED. Also, her last serial. :/)

There's tons more Four, but I only took you up through Sarah Jane's era so as not to overwhelm you.

Looking back on the list, I would say the absolute top picks (acknowledging that I haven't seen everything, either; Three's The Sea Devils is looking very good thus far) are:
Tomb of the Cybermen
Terror of the Autons
Genesis of the Daleks

The Three Doctors is not as fantastic overall, but it's very fun and gets you two doctors (One is barely in it) for the price of one!


SO. What Nu Who should I watch first? Guide me, O Chaos. ^_^

Date: 2008-05-26 06:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kayliemalinza.livejournal.com
Ooh, you've seen a fair amount of Classic Who, then! I really do suggest Tomb of the Cybermen, since you haven't seen Two in action yet. I'm really glad you've already seen some of Four and Three's best. ^_^

Well, I always like to see a doctor's first serial, so I'll definitely start with Rose, and Muppet has mentioned Empty Child a few times, so I'll go to that two-parter next. Is there anything I should know about the episodes in between?

Date: 2008-05-29 11:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kayliemalinza.livejournal.com
This is one of the episodes with almost no Doctor in it, like Random Shoes in Torchwood, only this one's brilliant.

I thought "Random Shoes" was rather brilliant-- it was the second in the run of "good" episodes. Coincidentally, I really enjoyed "Love and Monsters" from DW season 2-- and that didn't have much Doctor, either! I wonder if this means something. Hmm.

Date: 2008-05-30 06:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kayliemalinza.livejournal.com
I love the Doctor, I do, I do! I have a poster of him on my bedroom ceiling!

I think it's more that, if the Doctor gets written out of an episode, it's because the non-Doctor storyline naturally grew too big and too good to be kept on the periphery. Like, the plot and characters have to be really good before the script editor says, "Ok, those scenes with the Doctor aren't as quality. Cut them."

me too! the part where they formed a band really clinched it.

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