Dialogue Crack-drabble (with bonus extra drabblet)

[order_of_chaos]

Title: Oral Test
Author: order_of_chaos
Pairings: Debatable.  Implied only.
Characters: James, Groves, the rest of the Navy, Will.  Mentions of pirates.
Warning: Minds in gutters.  Or what passed for gutters back then.
Caution: Swallow tea before reading.

102. Oral Test

James: Alright men.  What do we hunt?
Men: Pirates!
James: And what do we do with them?
Men: Hang them!
Groves: Fuck them within an inch of their lives and then let them go?
James: Men - you have given a textbook perfect answer, well done.  Groves, you're promoted.

***

Norrington: Surrender.
William: Death first!  [Hesitates] And then sex.
Norrington: …

Comments

[meletor-et-al.livejournal.com]

MWAHAHAHHAHA yay.

just... yay.
<3

[order_of_chaos]

MWAHAHAHAHA thankyou!

[landratte.livejournal.com]

*wipes iced tea from monitor*
Ahh, Groves - always so enthusiastic.
And Will... is Will (unless he is also in kinky zombie-sex).

[order_of_chaos]

My sympathies to your monitor. Glad you liked it!

And Will... is Will (unless he is also in kinky zombie-sex)... in which case he is not Will, but Legolas in disguise, and possibly possessed by the Dark Lord. (Either one of them.)

[tiggothy.livejournal.com]

*sporfle*

I'm so glad I actually swallowed my tea before I followed the cut *bounce*

You rock :-)

[order_of_chaos]

Chaos: You Sporfle, me Rock. Ug. I should put it as a warning.

Caution: swallow tea before reading.

[tiggothy.livejournal.com]

Yes, it should definitely be up there as a warning ;-)

[creatorschilde.livejournal.com]

Why is it, that after the drabblet, my mind automatically goes to a particular vampire movie, whos charecters cannot be named for they are property of anothers imagination (*rolls eyes*) -

The main charecter is dancing with the bloated and decayed corpse of a woman.

And why does vampire Norrie appeal to me *sooooooo* much?
argh - see - I told you the muses are worse....

Now I have vampire Norrie pulling a TIm Curry in "The THree Musketeers" in my head. Kicking away a footrest and yelling at William "That can be arranged" in a temper tantrum of sorts....

grrrr

[order_of_chaos]

*giggles* Ooh. I don't have a vampire Norrie muse.
...well, I didn't.

[creatorschilde.livejournal.com]

should I apologize? or just say "Your Welcome"?

[order_of_chaos]

Both will do just fine. And I'll need some of your blood, of course. He's hungry.

[creatorschilde.livejournal.com]

for something *that* pretty?

uhhhhhh....

*offers random Jack muse*
will that do?

[order_of_chaos]

James' eyes blazed with green fire as he buried his hands in Jack's hair, tilting the pirate's head up to expose his vulnerable throat. "Yes," he purred. "You will do nicely."
Jack shivered.

[jedipirate.livejournal.com]

Oooh. Pretty. *licks lips* darn it! fic!bunny attack. >_<

Now I have a VampireJames muse.

I have a thing for necks... and Sparrington. So, Sparrington + necks = death of jedipirate.

*Enter Evil!Norrie*: Oooh, fresh meat.

[order_of_chaos]

pyroJames: [Sets fire to EvilNorrie] Who, me? No, I didn't see him.
Chaos: Dances around the funeral pyre.

[jedipirate.livejournal.com]

Jedi: [pulls out the chocolate and marshmallows] Who wants s'mores? They'll be slightly spicy with a hint of evil.

[order_of_chaos]

UndeadEvilNorrie: You just might be more useful to me alive than dead. [Fishes femur out of the pyre and breaks it in half, giving one half to pyroJames and keeping the other.]
pyroJames: Thanks. [Kicks of his shoes and sits down on the grass infront of the fire, leaning against EvilNorrie for support.]

Together they toast mashmellows and squish them between chocolate buscuits and eat them.
As the night wears on, various Jack-muses emerge from the shadows to lick the smears of chocolate from the faces of the Jameses. One of them steals pyro's wig, but no-one seems to mind.

[kayliemalinza.livejournal.com]

<plug type="comm" name="crackrabbits">

I know it's been, like, a bajillion years since you posted this, but you know all these yummy comment!fics you keep doing? They would be very happy at crackrabbits. Y'know, if you get bored one day and feel like searching through your memories and doing a lot of cutting and pasting. :P

</plug>

[creatorschilde.livejournal.com]

oooo vampire James all around! *starts handing them out like cottencandy at a fair*

[creatorschilde.livejournal.com]

damn. thats....

I think Im speechless.

[order_of_chaos]

*does best evil villainess imitation*
*grins*
Thank you!

[drbillbongo.livejournal.com]

SNORTBWAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Groves, you're promoted.
YES! Just - yes. *giggles madly*

I'm so glad you put the caution on! Would have spat my green-apple-mint-soda-drink (don't ask) all over the screen of the school computer!

[order_of_chaos]

*doesn't ask*

Groves is now Commander of the Valiant.
Gillette turned pirate weeks ago, and is therefore not jealous of this. He has his own ship.

[drbillbongo.livejournal.com]

And Jack has become an honest woman and is now married to James so that James doesn't miss his two sexy lieutenants. *nods nods*

[jedipirate.livejournal.com]

*snort*

I love this. I love Groves. and I love the bonus drabblet.

[order_of_chaos]

Quote massacred from the Princess Bride.

[jedipirate.livejournal.com]

I knew I recognized that quote. My sensors were buzzing like mad, but I couldn't place it.

[order_of_chaos]

Evil Norrington: Surrender!
Jack: [delighted] You mean you wish to surrender to me? Very well, I accept.
Evil Norrington: [motions men with arrows to emerge from trees] Surrender!
Will: Death first!
Jack: [groans] Please tell me you didn't just say that.
Will: Aye. Avast.
Jack: Please understand I hold you in the highest respect. [shoots him]

[drbillbongo.livejournal.com]

Evil Norrington: Die, foul fiend!
Will: Never! They took Miss Swann.
Norrington: So it would seem.


Sorry, just came into my mind.

[jedipirate.livejournal.com]

heheheh

[order_of_chaos]

Evil Norrington: Die, foul fiend!
Will: Never! They took Miss Swann.
Norrington: Good. They can keep her.

[jedipirate.livejournal.com]

Will: Why didn't you wait for me? I told you I'd always come for you.
Elizabeth: [has just almost married Norrington] Well, you were dead.
Will: Death cannot stop true love, all it can do is delay it awhile.
Elizabeth: [frowns] You're not a zombie are you?

[order_of_chaos]

Will: [crosses his fingers] No, of course not. There's no such thing as zombies.
Elisabeth: [disappointed] Oh. Pity.