Pragmatist of Squee

Title: Mop-wig
Author: order_of_chaos
Rating: G
Characters: James, Sophie (his wig), implied Sparrow.
AN: Set (very) loosely in the same universe as Blue Eyes and Dirt, again during DMC.

( The first time James tries to use her as a mop, Sophie bites him. )

Cast of Characters, including sentient Wigs, Plotbunnies, other Creatures, and Haufen-verse. If I've missed any, please tell me, and I'll add them to the list.
I've decided to post this now, and add links/pictures/updates etc. as I go along.

Title: Letters to the Opposition
Author: order_of_chaos
Characters: Norrington, Beckett.  Only pairing mentioned is Davy Jones/Beckett.
Rating: PG-13 for crack.
Summary: Series of letters between Norrington and Beckett.  Insulting nicknames.  Death threats.  Mentions of wigs, hair dye and love potions.  Don't delude yourself that this is supposed to make sense - it isn't.  DMC spoiler-warning just in case.

Title: Hypothetically Speaking.
Author: order_of_chaos
Pairing: Implied Sparrington, Naval threesome, Wigal threesome, Rita Skeeter/Hermione. 
Rating: PG-13
AN: Set sometime after Sophie, Insinuation and Jay.  I might have got the tenses slightly scrambled up here, but I hope not.
Disclaimer: Not mine, except perhaps Sophie.
( Warning - May contain traces of Rita Skeeter. )

Title: Sophie
Author: order_of_chaos
Inspired by: jaekayelle’s Amnesia fic, daegear’s bendy kitten drabbles, the community flagitiousabuse, and the book ‘Brothers in Arms’ by Lois McMaster Bujold, but bearing approximately no similarity to any of them. 
For: tiggothy who was able to answer the question 'how many shillings in a stone?', thus assuring me I'm not alone in the universe.
Pairing: Sparrington
Rating: G (I think)
Summary: The Commodore and his wig.  Jack Sparrow's sudden aversion to rum.
Disclaimer: Not mine.  (Except maybe Sophie, but probably not.)
( If you value your sanity little enough to read this, go right ahead. )

***

And I've turned it into a Challenge, because it sounded like fun:
Write a drabble (or more) involving Jack Sparrow giving up rum.  Permanently, temporarily, whatever.  (This is not to say that if he swears to give it up permanently he will suceed).  Preferrably Sparrington, but anything goes. 
Could feature his reasons for swearing off all alcohol, his severe (or not) withdrawal symptoms, his sudden and inexplicable obsession with whisky instead.  Or anything you wish.

Deadline: Think of a dealine, think of a deadline... nah, can't be bothered.
And drop me a comment, if you do it.